A little groundwork for parenting.

 Howdy again my friends, today I would like to talk about a touchy subject that I reckon is quite unpopular in this day and age – specifically about parenting. Now I know I am no professional, nor am I a parent, but that's not the lens through which I am going to approach this subject today. I feel that some of the best ways to teach correct principles is by learning from experience and sharing what you've gone through – after all, history not learned from is doomed to repeat itself.

To start, I must confess that I grew up in a rather unstable home with dynamics fluctuating and changing. Now why does this matter? It matters because it has impacted how I perceived everything from social interactions to emotional responses and has made life a far more difficult endeavor for me than it ought to have been. For years, I wondered why I was the way I turned out, yet eventually I learned the root of the issues I faced started in my home as a youth.

The home is the ground on which children grow and learn how to function, yet often that soil is needlessly rocky and infertile. So, why is it this way? I have found that, often times, it is caused by parents lacking a vision of the bigger picture of what they want their family to be, and how to get there. It is true that we live in a consumerist society that tends to look at things through the scope of "me, myself, and I" and it pollutes the household. So, this begs the question – how do we change this?

The first step is to make the ground you'll build upon stable and level. It is a popular practice for people to cohabitate rather than marry – this is the first mistake as it, in essence, says, "this home will stand as long as it's convenient for me". Do you want a happier relationship with your family? Learn to take the leap of faith and sacrifice – the moment you're in a relationship and/or are a parent, it is no longer just about you – and this door swings both ways. It takes two to tango, and sometimes it's like a couple has four left feet.

The next thing is to figure out your dynamic with your significant other, as well as with your kids. The reason for this is that kids need clarity and defined roles rather than an ever-shifting power struggle to figure out who's in charge. Why does this matter? Because if this stuff isn't figured out, there is going to be a greater difficulty for those kids to emotionally regulate. Part of this process includes learning how to not argue but rather talk things out.

The third step is to recognize that the tone you set for your home will reflect the tone you set for your kid's mentality. If the tone of your home is one of anger and fear, then your child's mentality will often reflect that in their actions and thoughts. With this concept in mind, you have to take ownership of your mentality and make adjustments at times. Your kids need to see that the thing you're asking them to do can be done, or they will constantly be looking for ways to fulfill the order through unhealthy avenues.

Now the final step I'd like to cover is quite simple really – be the demonstration of what kind of standards you want to perpetuate through your kids but love them regardless of if they choose to do so or not. At the end of the day, and no matter the age, your kids just need to know that they are loved and safe, so be the environment that they can be those things in. I know life is busy and hard, but know that if it is this hard for you, then how hard is it for them? I hope this gives you all something to think about, and I hope you all take care. You've got this my friends!

Keeping finances from being parasitic.

 Howdy friends, I hope all is well. Today I would honestly like to talk about something a smidge different from what I normally do, but it actually will fit into the overall theme of what I tend to talk about, I promise. So, what is it that has been on my mind? Finances – that's what has been on my mind, especially since finances play such a consistent, vital role in our lives.

Now, I would like to state the obvious – I am no "finance guru" and I don't reckon I'm the best person to go to for financial advice. With that being said, I know sufficient about finances and emotional wellbeing to know that the two topics coincide with each other in a symbiotic relationship. When managed poorly, finances actually become a parasitic relationship that saps away energy and wellbeing, both when you're single and when you're in a relationship.

So, how do we stop this relationship from becoming parasitic? That's what I would like to cover mainly. The first principle I would like to instill in the matter is that you should not tie your intrinsic worth with fiscal value. A very common theme present in the media is the message "if you're not rich, you're a bum and a nobody." When we tie our worth to something so fickle as temporary wealth, we will find ourselves often measuring self-worth upon how much money we have. We will continue to chase wealth rather than find satisfaction with who we are now.

Another principle to avoid this parasitic relationship is by realizing that money, while a useful tool, is not the metric of a fulfilled life. Too often we forget that money is just a neutral tool – it is neither good nor bad, so it therefore is not a means to measure the quality of a life. Now, I am not saying that life can't be a bit easier if you have more money – heaven knows how difficult it is to function when we're working two or three jobs to scrape by. With that being said, money doesn't measure the greatness of a life. Some of the most fulfilled people tend to be those who aren't super rich, but rather those who find satisfaction with the life they lead.

Part of that fulfillment comes when you remember that time is the resource you can't get back, but money will come again. Why does this principle matter so much? Because the parasitic relationship with finances swings both ways into two extremes – we either are too loose with our resources or are too stingy with them. We often find ourselves not using our resources, saving them for some distant day, yet when it comes, we realize that we let so much life pass us by. What is the point of saving if we don't use what we're saving? Go on that trip, buy that little treat, go on that date – just don't lose yourself in the search for wealth. Life is the ultimate wealth, yet we bury that treasure.

The final principle is to be wise – not everything that can take up our resources deserves those things. We're often like little kids who see a shiny thing and go "I want it" but that doesn't necessarily mean it's worth our time or effort. Think about all the times that we see something that deep down is literally just junk, yet the packaging says it is treasure. Part of finances is recognizing what is trash, and what is treasure. So how do we do this? By seeing how something either builds towards or retracts from the life we want to live. My hope is that you all will be sufficiently wise enough to enjoy the lives you live and obtain the lives you want. Take care my friends.