Howdy my friends, I hope you are all doing well. I have been noticing a theme lately that concerns me because, really, it concerns everyone. So, what is this theme that has been weighing on me? Stress and society's attempt to run from the subject, even when stress is a much-needed variable in the equation of growth. Now I won't lie – I hate stress in all forms, even though I know it is good for me at times. I clarify this because this message is not saying that you've got to love the stress you experience, but rather that you should look at stress as a growth opportunity.
As a society, we tend to look at stress as the big "no-no", and as something bad; don't we? This mentality infiltrates all facets of daily life for us, including school, the workforce, the media, and even dating and long-term relationships! An example I will give is that one getting increasingly popular as the days go by, which is how people try to "run" from stress by using a "Cinderella" approach to relationships. So, what is the Cinderella approach? It's an approach where people wait for a Prince or Princess charming that they'll meet who will have everything they would ever want, who will sweep them off their feet and "fix" everything, then they'll live happily ever after.
Do you see the issue that resides in this concept? It is an attempt to run from stress by expecting someone else to handle the stress while we float on through life. That is one of the biggest issues we face – so often there is a message to "double it and pass it on" in regard to stress. This is where we double the stress and pass it to the next person, so we can avoid the stress ourselves. This erroneous concept removes the responsibility we have to take responsibility and action for our stress.
This theme repeats in so many aspects of life, much like an infection, and it is spreading at a very alarming rate. So how can we take responsibility and take action for our stress? How can we turn stress from a taboo into a boon? What is the remedy for this stress autoimmunity disorder? I would like to suggest three ways we can take this stress and make it into something productive.
The first way is to accept that stress is very real, but it doesn't have to define your experience. Stress is what I like to call a greedy perception, which is to say that it wants all of your attention, concern, and energy. The issue with this is that it wants to override the truth of your experiences and memories to highlight itself. To counter this, keep a positivity journal to highlight positive experiences and outcomes from the stressful situation, then focus on that. As you focus on the positive, you develop neurological pathways that – when exercised – will quickly spot the positive in other stressful situations.
The second way is to look for how stressful situations are helping get you to where you want to be. This principle reminds me of an old story I heard, where someone is drowning, and they pray for God to save them. Then, three different times, boats come and offer help, but the person drowning says "no, thank you, God will save me", then the person drowns. When the person gets to heaven, they ask God "why didn't you save me?" to which God replies, "I sent you three boats." Sometimes we have a desired destination of where and who we want to be, yet we rarely consider that. Often the way through presents itself, yet we overlook it because it's not how we expected it. The same can be said of stress – just because something is stressful doesn't mean it is wrong. Live in the moment and accept that stress is sometimes that moment, and it's okay.
The third and final way I'd like to recommend is to find ways to laugh at the absurdity of a stressful scenario. The choice to laugh in turn opens up other choices – it gives you certain control over the uncontrollable. Now I am not saying laugh like a psychopath at every bad thing that happens – but rather look for moments to express other emotions rather than just stress and anxiety, or else that's all you'll see. I hope that with these tools, you'll be able to see the good in your hardships – take care friends.
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